Friday, October 20

Less than what you think.


At what point does a director thinks that the movie he is filming is good enough?
At what point does a painter thinks that his painting is good enough and stop?
How about writer? photographer? songwriter?

What is 'good'?
Are there quantitative measures like KPIs in business or metrics to be fulfilled?

Or it is purely a generic feeling thingy?


Most importantly, must the creator like the creation himself like how a fan likes it?


The most controversial thing about art is the creation of art school itself. 
Art by definition means 'the product of human creativity'. Creativity means something that
is groundbreaking and new. How can we teach someone to create something 'new'?
'Teaching' means replication and it means that we are passing something existing to the next person.
It is not something new, it is not creativity, and thus, it is not an art. 

Perhaps the career as artist itself is also controversial. 
An artist creates an art based on his own creativity, hence that piece of art enriches the public.
Or, 
A person aspire to become an artist as a career goal, hence he creates an art based on what the public could possibly adore?

The former is pure creativity, the latter seems like a polluted pseudo artist. He is no different with a typical slickly business guy who set a certain amount of monetary goals as career goal. 

Arts means plays, 

Dazzling. 



P.S.:
The answer to the art school paradox is that creativity (a way of thinking) can be instilled. In fact, it needs to be. You can't be inherently creative since you born (The 'Genius-Aptitude-school-of-thought' would argue otherwise). But at the same time, creativity can't be copied in verbatim like what industrialised art schools intended to do. 

You learned that creativity as a way of thinking, a kind of artistic thought process. This is the first half. And that second half is about your talent.

"Creating great art is all about aptitude" is wrong. "Creating great art is all about effort" is wrong too. 


Monday, September 18

Wonderfully dark life

I did not buy insurance.
I don't have one.

And this excited many insurance agents as I am the rare breed that can be their potential client.
The most common pitch I received is: "Imagine you suddenly contracted certain disease and you are lying on deathbed but you have no money, how will you feel? You are going to die, don't you afraid?You should protect yourself, start from now."

This statement is made based on one big assumption: "The longer life is, the better it is." or, "We must live as long as possible."
What if we question it by thinking the opposite?

What if I think, my life has already completed and I don't need more of them?
I have lived for 25 years. I have done many wonderful things. I am born under two lovely parents, I played so many video games and sports, I scored so well in exams. I had wonderful university life. I had been to many many countries. I am able to explore so many knowledge and parts of the universe.
I have had enough.

Because of all the wonderful things I have had, every next second is no longer a necessity.
Every single next second is a bonus itself. It's an addition, just like icing on a cake.

In fact, the fact that I was born is already itself the biggest lottery granted to me.
We all took our own birth for granted. We have no control on our birth. It just happened like that. No one is responsible for our birth, even our parents.
Why do we think that we should be born into this world? No. We don't deserve to be born.
No one is responsible and no one owes us our birth. No one says or promises us that we must be given a life.

Some may argue that my thoughts above are lunatic as it resembles nihilism and existential crisis.
It sounds so depressing and it makes life so dark and so meaningless.
I would argue the opposite: By accepting that life is meaningless, accepting that death is necessary, accepting that I am nothing, accepting that my life has already completed, accepting that I don't have to live longer, accepting that I am ready to die anytime, my life will become better.

Understanding that life is meaningless, I would work harder to create meaning. Understanding that my life has already completed and it can be ended anytime, I would treat every single additional day as a bonus to live free without shackle.
I am ready to die doesn't mean I am going to die. "I am ready to die" will make me stop thinking about not dying and live now.

People with depression seems problematic not because of their depression. Their biggest problem is their anxiety towards depression. They are not depressed, they are anxious about their depression.
They are depressed because they think that by default life should have a meaning. They think 'meaning' should be the status quo. They keep finding it and they can't find it, so they feel sad.

What if the opposite is the real default? Life itself is meaningless. 'Meaningless' is the status quo. Life is supposed to be meaningless. Why would you feel sad for having nothing when what you should have is nothing itself? You won't feel sad for having no meaning because it is what it should be.
Depression should be our default mode, and any new colours are additional bonuses. Our world reversed it, our civilisation made colours as default mode and depression as some crazy anomaly which everyone is paranoid about.

I buy insurance because I want a longer life for the sake of prolonging it.
I buy insurance because I think I can try prolonging my life so that I can have a little more time doing some wonderful things.
There is a stark difference between two. The first one is "It's a must buy". The second is "It's damn great to buy. But if I really can't, it's ok."
They sound like the same. But at dire moment, the first will freak your amygdaelae while the second is a serene breeze. The first is intense unhappiness and the regret feeling we hate so much. The second is tranqulity.

"You must buy an insurance. Life is precious! Don't you want to live longer?"
"It is because life is precious that's why I don't want to live too long. Prolonging life will make life less precious"
Don't feel sad for dying, in fact feel happy for completing life.
I am ready to die anytime. I am not afraid.

Friday, September 8

Don't read too much.

In recent years, there is this hot trend of 'reading'. Everyone started building their 'reading list' and putting 'reading books' as a mandatory item in their bucket lists. Since young we were told by everyone superior than us that 'reading is good', 'you should read more', 'knowledge is wealth'. Things were getting more tensed when journalists started telling everyone that every successful person wakes up at 4am to read and they read 60 books a year, and also every book becomes 'Must-read if you want to become successful and happy'. At the same time there were a lot of hoax-y pseudo statistics that were circulating around telling people which country's citizens read the most and how it was related to economical successes.

The outcome? Happy book publishers, bookstore owners, writers (Of course the happiest will be the pseudo writers who claimed themselves as authors but in fact they are merely information refurbishers or recyclers), toxic reading habits, drugs-addiction readers, information obesity, information bubbles, information bankrupty and all the mental diabetes, strokes, high blood pressure, high cholestrol (anxiety, depression, bipolar, ADHD)

People bought more and more books and wanted to read more and more to show that they are productive and feel good. We no longer read books because we want to read them, but because we have to and we will feel good if we read books. We read books for external validations. The crazies things is, people started feeling bad for not reading books. They felt they are not productive and not successful because they don't read.

This soar in demand of books because reading books is deemed productive resulted in the soaring of supplies. More and more people formed all kinds of theories, produce more and more PDF files and hardcopies and then sell to those who crave the dopamine coming from reading them. 

And I want to tell you the truth:
"Books are like mirrors. You only see in them what is already inside of you."
- Carlos Ruiz Zafon

What does that mean?
Books don't help you to become better. Books don't give you new knowledge.
Books merely reaffirm beliefs that are already inside you. They are not the source of power, they are merely a catalyst. And a catalyst is completely futile if the source of power is nil in the first place.

If you do not have any tangible beliefs, reading books won't help you.

Then where do beliefs come from?
It comes from experience. It comes from doing things.

This heuristics might be shocking for most of the people. And once you understand it, you will start deleting all the books in your book list. 

The exceptions are these 3:
1) Philosophy (Reading philosophy is itself an empirical experience thus it creates new beliefs. It is the only exception that is similar as empirical actions in its ability to create new beliefs)
2) Fictions (Stories create new beliefs in a subtle way) [But I think movies are better instrument in creating new beliefs than fictions, you see new things in movies, you can't think things that you have never seen before by reading fictions)
3) Hard axiomatic facts (Mathematics and physics)

So next time do not feel impressed on the number of books a person has read or bought.
Ask the person, what are the few most influential books he/she has read, if they are either philosophy, fictions or hard facts, you should be impressed.
If it contains something else, then you know.

Lastly, the number of books Gary Vaynerchuck has read in his entire life is less than the number of books he has published (He has published around 4-5).
Do things first, read alot of philosophy, read some fictions, watch some movies, do some math. And do things again. Do many many things. 

Wednesday, September 6

Extreme Mediocrity

Wow wow wow. I am really 'impressed'.

In a useless 'management class' with all the futile bullshit theories, everyone took it very seriously, copy notes and take them as gold.
In the possibly most useful class about fire prevention, no one takes notes, no one asks questions, no one cares. I really wonder will they remember how to use the fire extinguishers. They don't.

There are even people staying upstair in the office, not attending the talk because 'they have alot of important work to do'
What's the logic? I am really trying to understand what's going on in their minds. They totally reversed the logic.
What's more important? Work or life?
The most important thing to hedge about in our life is our life.

The reason they care about the management class is simple, it's something directly impacting them. Their job, whether they will perform better and get promoted, whether they will climb higher and receive better pays.
It's 'important' for them because no money no life.
Imbecile. I hope they understand the reverse, without life everything else is nil.

Typical selfish mediocre middle classes. They are never curious on things other than themselves. They only care about their own work, promotion. They will never wonder why this organisation come to give a talk, why do they exist, how they function, what's the point etc.

Not forget the typical shits that the Malaysians (Especially Chinese? Idk) like to behave:
- No one wants to sit in first row
- No one dares to raise up their hands
- Very few would volunteer to answer questions posed by the speaker
- It would cost their life for them to ask the speaker questions (Or their minds are so empty that they dont know what to ask, thanks to school and 'systems', they lost the ability to question things)

I really think the behaviours above are abnormal (And very likely they think that they are normal and as a result I appeared abnormal). And it is the best demonstration of stupidity, to the max. I wanted to curse for this insane level of imbecility, extremely moronic. They seem like a properly function individual with limbs, but their thinking showed that their brains are really empty (Or they don't have brain at all). Their brains are full of shits, or in Tim Urban's terms, their brains have an insanely thick and hopelessly incurable layer of dogma (smokes by the animals like monkeys and elephants).

And all of these are not actually surprising. Mediocre people will go to mediocre places, and they stick together forever to be mediocre. The average companies will be made up of only average workers.

Insane, fucking insane. And these people will continue fret upon their own mediocrity and poorness. They will keep complain that they are not smart like those who are successful, they are not rich and they don't have privilege like those who have etc.

They are not destined to be stupid and poor. They themselves made themselves poor and stupid. They chose it.
Mediocrity is not born. It's self inflicting.

Thursday, July 13

Too bad I am bad in common sense.

The silliest thing about human being:
* Every single inferior is fear of superior
* Every single superior thinks he/she is above of the inferior

People called it "The common sense". And they think this is how the world should be ran.

The scarier truth is, if we do the opposite, the world will be so much more richer and better. 
* An inferior who constantly challenges and questions the superior will only make the superior see him/her as an impressive non-confirmist that challenges status quo
* A superior who constantly presents himself humbly and even admitted himself as inferior will only make the inferiors respect, adore or even idolise him/her more. 
And both of the above are only benefits to the individuals, there is a hidden astronomical benefit behind:
Real meritocracy in practice. The chain effect is the crazy profits and unimaginable growth for the company and business. When people forget about hierarchy and statuses, they can only put everything into producing the best work. Real wealth creation in practice.

And there will only be more and more people disagreeing with me, dismissing me as idealistic, and trying to 'teach' me 'the right social tactics'. All of these are based on the horrendous humans' animalistic nature: our egos, our biases of thinking we are better than others, our defensive mechanisms against new challenges, our fear, our beliefs that older and bigger means better, our fallibility in identifying what is truth, our erroneous thinking that threats for inferiors and sycophancy for the superiors are the way. 

Ass-kissing is tempting because it brings short term results hastily, and you attract bottlenecks very soon as well.
Threat is the fastest way to make people conform to you, and soon too it invites destructive rebellion.

Thank God I am bad in common sense.
Fuck common sense. 






Wednesday, July 12

对不起Sorry

二零一七年七月十二日 晚上八点五十二分

今天吃完晚饭后,爸爸和妈妈坐在电视机前,为某一件事情争吵着。
他们买了一张电视台增值卡,要把号码输入到简讯里发出去才能增值,然后才能购买和看到某一些频道。
其实整个过程对一个年轻人来说是再容易不过一分钟搞定的事,但他们就是弄了好久好久都弄不到。
我坐他们身后的沙发,看着他们俩的背影,我马上联想到很多事情,然后就忍不住上楼回房大哭,哭到泣不成声。

我联想到这是以后的他们。两个与世界脱节了的老人,已经丧失了很多能力,有很多事情都已经没办法做好了。
看着爸爸只能一个号码逐个逐个非常非常慢地输入,而且还会输入错的那种。
我尝试解释了很多很多很多遍,他们都听不懂。
妈妈连手机也不太会用,教了她很多次要怎样进Maxis的App她还是搞不太懂。
最近跟他们聊天,也发现我们越来越有代沟了。很多我新学到的知识和在外面看到的东西,他们都好像听不太懂。而且在很多事情的看法上分歧越来越大了,特别是我越来越有自己分析真理和看世界的方法。
我联想到这是我不在他们身边的时候是这样的,他们很多东西都不懂,就只能这样碰碰撞撞抹黑。
我联想到这是以后我不在他们身边的时刻,很多事情他们只能靠自己,但自己却已经没有了
能力。很多他们要做的事,却不懂怎么做也做不到,那种无力感和沮丧。
我联想到以后他们万一连走也走不动,看东西也看不见时,怎么办。
真的很恐怖,联想到这我就真的很怕。

以前这种画面在戏剧里看得非常多,但当时没身在其境,不能体会。以前都觉得我爸妈很好,我还是可以想小孩一样依偎在他们身旁。
不知道是他们真的变老了,还是因为我真的长大了才会领悟到这些问题。
现在我亲身深切地感觉和体会到了。
我真的到了那个成人阶段了。怎么办啊,我没时间了。

几年前的我十分偏执,十分幼稚。我总是认为他们不太会科技,或是思考逻辑不太清晰,他们就应该学,我甚至会想说就是没人逼他们所以他们学不会。我真的太幼稚了。他们是在不同年代长大的,他们没有我成长年代的发达资讯,所以他们不会根本就是无可厚非啊。

我小时候什么都不会时他们从没有埋怨过,那我现在凭什么要求他们,凭什么啊。

我最最最害怕的是,有一天,他们觉得不要麻烦我,很多东西都往自己吞,很多东西都不告诉我,很多东西都不再找我帮他们做了。我最最最害怕的是他们需要独自面对那不知所措,需要自己承担那无助感。
我最最最怕的是,我的某些举动和言辞,让他们认为他们自己已经变成了累赘。

对不起爸妈,以后无论有多大的分歧,我都会好好说话。以后无论你们要求我什么,我都会帮你们好好办。一定。

Thursday, June 29

反鸡汤

舍弃是一个比得到更珍贵的技能,而且强大好几千倍。

追求梦想最难的不是追求梦想,最难的是要做很多很多达到梦想所需要做的,完全不符合梦想本质的琐事。