Wednesday, December 7

Retrospection

*If stress is the answer for not doing things, then success will never come to you. If give up is the answer, then don't have a goal in life, you won't achieve it.

*Faith is very fair to those who worked hard.

*Do not afraid of failure, just be afraid that after you have failed for the first time, you don't believe that success will come anymore.

*There are millions of reasons that convince you to not to do a thing, but if you found one reason to do it, go for it, because you heart tells you to do so.

*The more you look down at me, the more that I want to prove to you that I can.

*Don't worry, nothing cannot be solved and through mistakes we learn and grow the most. Cheers!
Tonnes and tonnes of challenges and problems exist in life, and the true value of life is to go through them and solve them.

*GIP is not for talent gap filling, it's meant for the EP's, it is meant for leadership. We must do it, we must drive it no matter what.

*But I know there is a medicine who can cure someone who is dying, it is called 'positive mindset'.

*If you have the strong will, you can even pluck down the moon from the sky. When you are determined and passionate enough towards something, nothing can defeat you.

*You are treating yourself badly when you don't even properly do the things that you want to pursue. In life when we do something, we do the very best we can. Ask yourselves whether you have done your very best or not.

Cool. My values and determination in life were really unreasonably strong and unshakable, as well as my firm beliefs in putting people first and treating people in the best manner that I can. 


In order to jump off the cliff and fly, you need to know how to fly, you need to believe that you can fly, you need to realise that flying is so important & urgent and you have no other choices.

Lastly and most importantly, you need to jump and fly.

Saturday, December 3

100% Honesty

How funny it is to see the 3-year-ago me using the first person angle of the today-me. In other words, see the past retrospectively using hindsight.

There were many shameful things to reflect upon. Like I was extremely (the word 'extremely' is still an understated adjective to describe, in my opinion) ignorant about the importance of money. I talked shits like 'Don't think about money, the main thing about travelling is to open your world view'. And I took things like 'values', 'happiness', 'learning', 'relevance' as some magical holy sacred Pandoras created by Jesus. I wanted to be the best Buddha that never offend anyone. I clung on every single unimportant and redundant fine details like a koala bear yet I easily over theorised & generalised complicated stuffs into empty big concepts that didn't help but made things more intertwining and sticky. I only thought the big concepts/theories about a plan , and its first step, but the following steps were always empty (and I assumed 'all is well'), and things never happened.

And all of those are not the main points. The main point is:
I did all of those things WITHOUT REALISING that I was doing them!


The ironic and embarrassing thing is that I was the one who kept telling everyone to put themselves as a tiny dot in the ecosystem but not center of the universe. The biggest secret that I kept from myself is that I was the one who put myself at the centre 24/7! Proudly, shamelessly and idiotically.

I viewed myself as a king that could command the world, and thought that everyone else was inferior towards me. I sensed things shallowly and lived in my own world. All of those happened for only one reason:
I feared the ultimate self awareness, I feared that people will come to my face and tell me the most truthfully ugly truths. I had a brittle fragile little useless heart.

I think there were a significant numbers of people who disagreed with me and viewed my actions as some funny useless shits. But I never knew and I wasn't aware at all, because I never bothered to ask others about their opinions towards me. And people never tell you the ugly truth because no one would ever tell things to get upset faces in return. They started sugar-coating unintentionally (with good intent and trying not to hurt me) when they were speaking to me. Those who really cared about me told me real stuffs but I chose to disagree and in fact argue with them, thinking that I was the 'right one' with my bastard ego.

That was good in the sense that the blissful ignorance gave me a lot of amazing courage to march forward without single doubts. At the same time it was so bad in long run as I didn't face my true-self to nurture the real confidence. The real confidence and self-esteem only can be raised after falling hard enough to face the real version of yourself.

The lesson is about humility that doesn't defeat confidence. Accept that I am bad in many senses, I am inferior than many others. But that doesn't mean that I couldn't do great things. Confidence must be there always, side by side with humility. They are great rivals and great friends for life.

I have been afraid of being the real one in my entire life. I have always been afraid to jump into the pool and accept shits on my face. Define your worst shits and just jump into the pool to face them

And I started doing this. Right now!

And I have almost forgotten this cool blog : http://wednesdaydailies.blogspot.my/2013/03/wd5-discovery-archeology-is-dirty-job.html
:P

Tuesday, November 1

No title

Life is cyclical.
以前单纯地认为精神就是一切,只要有信念,
努力奋不顾身地去争取,就一定会得到
That's a real pain at the same time real joy, the blissful ignorance of fighting for things that seem impossible yet painful to give up on.

后来一直失败,人家开始跟你讲你这个做错了,那个应该那样做
开始研究所有的‘怎样’和‘如何’

但所有的‘怎样’和‘如何’都没用解决问题的根本
最后才发现原来精神和信念才是最根本的元素
绕了一大圈,又回到同样的原点,只是这一次起跑的人不在是同一个以前的我了。

On a macro level every single thing and every single people is the same.
要用macro level的精神看世界。
You control every single piece of things that happened to you.

It's weird to see how people who are in same age of mine, people who we used to do the same thing, are now doing entirely different things. I view the things that they do as childish, but they view the things that  I am doing stupid too.

It's scary to see that how dynamic life is.

Monday, October 31

The most beautiful thing in life

"Just go ahead and do what you want to do, we will be your back up."
You have no idea how much this little sentence means to me. It means the whole world to me, it means your whole world to me, it means you are risking your life to do something for me.

It means that when I was standing on a cliff, standing beside a hundred-metered deep pool, feeling that immense fear of dying, feeling hopeless, feeling total darkness, but you are saying that:"Dont worry, whatever happened I will save you. I will make sure you don't die, I will make sure that you will be safe, I will make sure that you will be okay."

Thanks Pua for sending me home all the way from KL when my leg was infected seriously.
Thanks Kae Sen for doing the same when I have no car to go back.
Thanks How for offering me money to buy a new laptop when mine was stolen (Which idiot would fucking do that?)
Thanks Lk for being the one that fucking care about all of us as if our lives are even more important than his.
Thanks Kei Yaik for dragging his partially sick body to send me to clinic when I was having a dying fever. I guess he is the one that will be supporting me even when the world is opposing what I am doing.
Thanks Jih Xian for always being the first one to show concerns and care when I was having problem. If there is a best role model friend award, he is definitely the winner without any doubt.
Thanks Jessy for being the one that never second-guess and hold strong & firm beliefs on our friendship, despite the many conflicts and contradictions that appeared due to the stark difference between us
Thanks Siva for being the one who supports despite not understanding what I am going through, and always being the one that put others before yourself.
Thanks Jodia for always being the one who shows extraordinary care and support when I need, during my convocation, and giving me phone call when I was having problems
Thanks Poh & Jeffery for always telling me that they are ready to lend me money without interest at anytime when I have dire needs
Thanks Jia Herng for your "We will be your back up."
Thanks Hoe Yen for giving all the annoying but warm calls.
Thanks Liang for hosting me in 5-star hotel when I was broke in Thailand.

And many more. Those who paid effort to search for me when I was reported 'missing' in UM campus. Those who paid effort for my many wonderful birthdays in the past few years. Those who treated me very very well.

I have no siblings. But many of you are like real brothers and sisters to me. Without you I will be nobody today, I might still be that low-confident guy who forever not daring to do things that I want, I might have crashed in any of the misfortunes. I might have committed suicide in the past hopeless two years.

If me myself is a main character in my own movie, many of you are like the important protagonists that saved the life of the main character over and over again.

I wish that one day I will be able to gather all of you in one occasion, so that I can thank, appreciate and give a hug to each of you. I will find a moment to do that.

I wish that in a parallel world each of us would be growing tremendously together, getting eternal happiness and success together.

Simon Sinek interviewed the army troops of America who went to fight for wars in Afghanistan. In one of the wars, there was an army ran into the bombing areas intended to save his comrades, despite the fact that the bombs will be detonated anytime and he would die anytime. He would be totally safe if he chose to run back to the army base instead of running back to the bombing areas.

Simon asked him: "Why did you do so? Why would you risk your lives to save them?"
The army answered: " Because they would definitely do the same for me."

I will do the same for many of you. Thank you. Really Thanks.

And for now, let me be emotional to write this post to express my gratitude, so that I will be able to come back here when I am once again lost while hustling for life, so that I will be able to remember to remember, remember that the number one essence of life is love and care, remember that it was love and care that molded me to become who I am.

Achievements and people are BOTH EQUALLY IMPORTANT. I want both, I will never settle for less.
Now, let's do all the shits together!

Tuesday, July 19

Jubilance

Mind blown. Fucking mind-blowing.
Intellectual orgasm just happened. I can barely withstand the adrenaline and dopamine flowing in my body now.

James Clear, Mark Manson, Richard Koch, Oliver Emberton, Tim Urban, Elon Musk.
The things that I have learnt in the past 6 months completely outweigh my 16 years of learning through formal education.

Unstoppable, unbreakable.
I shall exercise mild control now, but explosions are inevitable :P
It's gonna happened soon, very soon.

Monday, July 11

Eureka!

Two years and half of a month.
741 days of struggles, the end.

I want to, and I have to thank a few persons who have given me life-saving helping hands throughout these two years. My Caregroup's teammates, my parents, Ms. Jennifer Lee, Mr. James Clear, Mr. Richard Koch, Mr. Mark Manson, Mr. Tim Urban, all the dedicated artists on U Can U Bibi, and all the cute faces whom I have met in Indo-China last summer.

Thank you for your talismanic wisdom and remarkable teachings that aided me through my darkest days, which I couldn't imagine where would I be if I have not ran into all of you.

I struggled the awful. I tussled the horrendous. I battled the arduous. I sipped the unorthodox. I voiced the paradoxical. I embraced the inferior. I saw the wider.
I befriend adversity. I shunt platitude and preach consistency.

And I am home.
I am back, back to a paradigm which is similar to that of 5 years ago.

But it is no longer similar.
It had escalated. It had escalated to a whole new world.

Euphoria.
Eureka.

Eureka!




Monday, July 4

温柔

一直来都以为要锻炼肌肉都是要吃高蛋白低碳水化合物的饮食,但今天发现到这是完全错误的观念。
顿时发现原来连锻炼肌肉也和做事的原理一样,要慢慢来,比较快。
如果硬要拔苗助长,只会弄巧反拙。
这让我想起一位读工程系朋友跟我说的“除非有外在元素,能源都是永远呆在它最原始的状态”,与牛顿第一法则有点相似的原理
还有之前学到的,觉得非常不可思议的帕雷托法则(80/20)。

那么多年的科学与逻辑性教育让我不怎么相信上帝的存在,
但有一位信奉基督教的朋友非常不屑地谴责我说:“只是你还没遇到吧了。”
呵呵,如果上帝真的存在的话,我觉得他真的好好,他把这世界编织地那么从容,那么温柔。
所有事情,无论是做事,与人相处,爱情,事业,学习,追求成就,甚至是锻炼肌肉,都是要从容地进行。
我们只需做最重要的20%罢了,activation energy不是蛮力,它是四两拨千斤。
这是上帝的宽容与智慧,是世界的美妙与和谐。

很喜欢和妈妈聊关于健康饮食所需的材料和烹饪方法,以前她煮菜都不怎么健康,但现在的她真的是不可同日而语,好厉害。

以前每当周边事情都忽然之间变得非常顺遂时,会开始担心噩耗的来临。
但现在不同了,我知道,顺流固然美好,但逆流而上一样精彩。